Fox News satire/humor

Corey Lewandowski Craps His Pants During Interview With Chris Wallace

https://www.rawstory.com/2020/11/chris-wallace-nails-lewandowski-for-trump-lie-about-doctors-dying-from-is-greatly-undercounted/





Corey Lewandowski literally crapped his pants when Chris Wallace called him out on his COVID lies during a Sunday night appearance on Fox News.

Wallace had the former Trump surrogate on to ask him about president Trump’s claim that “doctors are trying to make him look bad by exaggerating the actual number of COVID-19 deaths during the pandemic.”

At a campaign rally two days prior to the election, Trump had suggested that perhaps doctors were over inflating the numbers just to make him look incompetent – as if he needed help making himself look incompetent in that area – and to allegedly make a profit from the pandemic.

“What is the president’s evidence that doctors, many of whom are risking their lives treating these patients, are in fact lining their pockets by inflating the number of COVID deaths?” Wallace asked Lewandowski, who sat at the far end of the news table.

“Well, you know Chris, I really haven’t seen that evidence. But we have seen on many occasions people who claimed they have died from COVID-19, and that wasn’t the case.”

“People claimed they have died from COVID-19, but that wasn’t the case? I don’t get it. How can anyone who claim they’ve died from the virus, tell anyone else they died from the virus? It would be impossible for them to tell anyone: they’re dead.”

Lewandowski didn’t seem to notice the contradiction. “Well, you know Chris, people die from other things too. It happens all the time. Some people die from heart attacks, some people die of cancer, and others might die from a hangnail.”

“Excuse me? A hang nail? Did you say, a hangnail?”

“Yes, a hangnail,” Lewandowski answered.

“You can”t be serious.”

“Of course I’m serious.”

“As far as I know, no one has ever died from a hangnail,” Wallace told him.

“How would you know, Chris? Have you ever had a hangnail?”

“What? Well, of course everyone gets hangnails. They can be quite irritating, but to suggest they can be fatal, is absurd.”

“How would you know, Chris? Are you a doctor?”

“What? What is this? I can’t believe we’re talking about hangnails.”

“Well, you asked, Chris and -“

“I didn’t ask about hangnails! I specifically asked you about the president’s claim that -“

“And I answered you, Chris -“

“No, you made some ridiculous claim that more people have died from hangnails than COVID.”

“How do you know hangnails can’t be fatal?

“Well… I don’t know.” Wallace was becoming frustrated with Lewandowski’s idiocy. “But it’s absurd to suggest that coronavirus patients are dying from anything but COVID, especially from a hangnail, for God sake. It’s almost laughable.”

“Not just hangnails, but heart -“

“Yeah, right,” Wallace cut him off, “I know, heart attacks and cancer – and hangnails. Does the president also believe that most COVID patients are dying from anything other than COVID?”

“Well, actually Chris, it was the president who suggested that many of them have died from infected hangnails,” Lewandowski said. “And not just from hangnails, but from ingrown hair, and ingrown nails, which means about fifty to sixty percent have died from other causes other than COVID, whether they’re from hangnails, ingrown hair, toenails, or from something else, we can’t be sure.”

Wallace stared at him, not sure how to respond to such nonsense. “Are you serious, Mr. Lewandowski?”

“Of course I’m serious. There’s no way there could be nearly two hundred and thirty thousand COVID-19 deaths. It’s ridiculous Chris.”

“What’s ridiculous is someone coming on here and making an insane claim about COVID patients not dying from COVID, but from hangnails, and ingrown hair and other nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense,” Lewandowski said defensively. “It’s true.”

“It is nonsense,” Wallace insisted. “We invited you here to talk about the president’s claim that doctors may be profiting by exaggerating the actual number of COVID deaths and instead you -“

“Which is what we’re doing.”

“It’s not what we’re doing. I’m listening to somebody who sounds like a crackpot who believes in conspiracy theories, rather than a serious person.”

“Are you accusing me of lying, Chris?”

“I’m calling you a crackpot.”

“Are you saying the president’s a liar?”

“Well, if he believes that more people are dying from hangnails than COVID, then I’m also calling him a crackpot and a liar.”

Lewandowski scowled angrily at Wallace. “You know Chris, I came on in hopes that we could have a conversation between two adults, and you’ve insulted me, and you’ve also insulted the president.”

“I think this conversation’s over, sir,” Wallace said. He gave a cutting gesture indicating that the interview was over.

“You’re damn right it’s over.”

Instead of ending the interview, Lewandowski continued scowling at him.

“Sir, I said -” Wallace was about to repeat that the interview had ended, then he sniffed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “What is that?” He looked around at the two cameramen. Both of them shrugged, their nostrils also flaring in disgust.

“What the hell is that ungodly odor?” he asked again. “Dear God, what is that smell?”

He looked toward the cameramen again. Both of them shook their heads. It wasn’t them. Lewandowski was still scowling at him. One of the cameramen made a gagging noise, while the other pulled the neck of his shirt up over his nose.

“Sir, did you… did you soil yourself?” Wallace asked Lewandowski. “What are you, two years old?”

Lewandowski didn’t answer. He continued staring at Wallace.

“Why would you do something so disgusting?”

Lewandowski didn’t answer. He stood up slowly. The stench became worse. An invisible wave of stench permeated the air around Lewandowski, like the cloud of dust and dirt that followed the Peanuts character, Pig Pen. It encompassed the entire studio like the stench of skunk, instantly assailing the nostrils. Wallace also stood up. A moment later a security guard appeared to escort him from the studio. “Jesus f***ing Christ!” he muttered, keeping his distance.

“Dear God, I literally don’t know what to say,” Wallace said after Lewandowski had left the studio. “We invite a grown man on this broadcast for a serious discussion, and he becomes so unhinged that he literally craps himself like a toddler in preschool. I mean, if it wasn’t so disgusting, and so embarrassing, I would probably be laughing right now.
“It’s the last time we’ll have that guy on.”

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