60 Minutes satire/humor

The Real Reason Trump Walked Away From The 60 Minutes Interview – His Hair / The Weekly Journal

https://www.rawstory.com/2020/10/trump-abruptly-storms-out-of-60-minutes-interview-and-refuses-to-return-report/








President Trump stormed out of an interview with 60 Minutes correspondent Leslie Stahl at the White House last Tuesday afternoon.

According to CNN correspondent Kaitlan Collins, the “drama” occured in the Oval office.

“Apparently there was some drama while President Trump was taping his interview today,” she wrote on twitter. “He abruptly ended the interview after around forty-five minutes and did not return for a scheduled “walk and talk” he was supposed to tape with Pence, I am told by sources.

According to one source, Trump walked out of the interview because it was alleged that he had become frustrated with Stahl’s line of questioning. Another source said that most of the interview was focused on the coronavirus pandemic and he was reluctant to discuss a subject that had caused him so much frustration over the last few months. Still another source said it was because Stahl failed to wear a mask in the White House.

But it wasn’t about Stahl’s questioning or her failure to wear a mask that upset the president. It had to do with his hair. For years people have been making fun of his hair. Some have speculated that it’s the result of one of his parents having cross bred with an orangutan, or that it’s some sort of symbiotic parasite that had attached itself to his scalp.

Stahl attempted to start the interview by bringing up Joe Biden’s alleged connection to the Ukraine controversy involving his son Hunter Biden, but the president wasn’t having it. He wanted to talk about his hair.

“There’s only thing people want to hear about more than anything else, and that’s my hair, ” he told Stahl.

“Excuse me?”

“Do I stutter, Leslie? You’re not talking to stuttering Sleepy Joe here.”

Stahl stared at him, confused.

“What? You want to talk about your hair?”

“That’s right, my hair. What else is there to talk about?”

“Well… the issues? Aren’t they more important than your hair?”

“Not really,” the president said. “I mean, what would be the point? I’m going to win the reelection anyway, so we may as well talk about something that’s really incredible – like my hair. Look at it, Leslie. Don’t you think it’s incredible?”

He ran a hand through it, then tried to flip it back as if he were a teenage boy with long hair. He looked ridiculous.

Stahl stared at him. She had no idea how to respond.

The president went on praising his hair. “It’s fantastic, it’s stupendous, it’s amazing, it’s fabulous, it’s incredible,” he said, making his familiar hand gestures. “Just ask all my fans. They love my hair.”

“I really don’t care what your fans think of your hair, and I doubt most people – can we just talk about – ?”

” ‘My hair?’ the president interrupted. 

Stahl sighed, shaking her head,  frustrated with the president’s unwillingness to talk about the issues. Anyone who was familiar with the issues, knew exactly why he was unwilling to discuss the issues. He was a train wreck on every issue and he knew it. Taxes, health care, the economy, the coronavirus response. He was trying to avoid embarrassing himself, which was ironic since talking about his hair instead of the issues would make him the butt of countless memes and jokes – as if it were not already.

At this point, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity – or better yet, Jeanne Pirro, the most enthusiastic Trump sycophant of them all – would be fumbling all over themselves to stroke his ego, and his rug, in addition to burying their noses deep into his rear end.

“Touch it, Leslie,” he said, leaning forward. “You’d be amazed how soft it is. I only use the best shampoos, the softest shampoos, Melanie’s shampoos.” He attempted to flick it back again and again he looked ridiculous.

“I’m not touching your hair, Mr. President,” Stahl said.

“Why not?”

“Let’s talk about some of the issues that should be brought up at the next debate.”

“Let’s talk about my hair.”

Stahl tried to ignore him. “The coronavirus. You claim your response to the pandemic was excellent -“

“That’s right. I take full responsibility. It’s not my fault. Next question. Preferbally about my hair.”

“Black Lives Matter. You’ve referred to them as a terrorist -“

“I don’t want to talk about people who fry pigs like bacon. Let’s talk about my hair.”

“Antifa. You’ve also referred to them as a -“

“My hair.”

Stahl looked at Trump as if he were losing his mind. Republicans were fond of ridiculing Joe Biden for his occasional mental lapses, but the way the president was behaving, Stahl was having serious doubts about his mental state.

“You’ve referred to Antifa as your hair?” she asked.

“No, Leslie, you’re confused. Why would I call my hair Antifa? My hair is not a terrorist group.”

“You’re right. I am confused. I can’t understand why you won’t talk about the issues that are important to voters.”

“Well, my hair is an important issue that voters are concerned about. Ask anybody.”

Stahl stared at him a moment. The cameraman stared at him. Stahl burst out laughing. The cameraman grinned.

“Nobody gives a s*** about – excuse my French – your hair, Mr. President!” she said still laughing. She had a mental image of Trump supporters being questioned as to whether his hair should be included on the ballot as an important issue, with all of them bobbing their heads in unison. She laughed even harder.

“What’s so funny?”

Stahl was laughing so hard she fell from her chair and onto the floor. When the cameraman saw her hit the floor, he too burst out laughing. The president stared at them, bewildered.

“What the hell’s so funny?”

Both Stahl and the cameraman continued laughing. Without saying another word, the president stood up, unclip his mic from his lapel, flicked back his hair again – looking ridiculous – and walked out of the room shaking his head.

“When he said his hair was an important issue that voters actually care about, I lost it,” Stahl later told the Weekly Journal. “I just lost it. I had an image of Trump supporters fawning over that – whatever it is – on his head. It looks like, I don’t know, like a porcupine or something sitting on his scalp. I also had an image of Rush Limbaugh stroking Trump’s hair telling him that it was as soft and smooth as a baby’s butt, and I couldn’t take it. I not only fell apart but fell out of my chair.”

The president was upset by Stahl’s unwillingness to talk about his hair, but the producers of 60 Minutes were able to talk him into doing another interview – on one condition. Stahl had to agree to say something nice about his hair in the future, to which she reluctantly agreed.

“It was the weirdest interview I’ve ever been a part of,” Stahl concluded. “I always knew the president was a narcissist, but this was just ridiculous. It was also one of the creepiest. When he asked me to touch his hair, I could imagine how Stormy Daniels and all the other women felt when he told them he wanted to grab them by the p****es. It was really creepy. But at least I got a good laugh out of it, and to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever have anything nice to say about that thing on his head.”

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