Mike Lindell My Pillow satire/humor

My Pillow CEO, Mike Lindell Suing CNN’s Jim Acosta For Insulting His Pillow

https://thefederalistpapers.org/us/pillow-ceo-mike-lindell-attacked-jim-acosta-media-really-evil



My Pillow’s founder and CEO, Mike Lindell, has filed a law suit against CNN’s top White House correspondent, Jim Acosta, and various liberal media figures.

Last month during one of the president’s corona virus news briefings, president Trump featured some of his favorite corporate CEOs who have supported him and donated to his campaign.

One of the CEO’s was My Pillow’s Mike Lindell. After announcing that his company would begin producing masks, he then went off on a bizarre rant that some in the media had criticised as sycophantic.

“God gave us grace on November 8, twenty-sixteen, to change the course we were on. God had been taken out of our schools and lives by the last admnistration. Our nation had turned it’s back on God. The Supreme Court and the evil liberal media had outlawed God, guns, and Christmas. We were no longer able to worship God, shoot guns, or say Merry Christmas without liberal media being critical of us. But in twenty-sixteen all that changed and God gave us the greatest president to lead the nation, and he has been the greatest president I’ve seen in my lifetime.”

Some twitter users criticised Mr. Lindell’s bizarre speech, while certain conservative media figures came to his defense. MSNBC’s news anchor Ali Velchi tweeted,

Jesus Christ, the My Pillow guy just gave a mini sermon in the Rose Garden! I’m surprised he didn’t kneel before the president and  grab him by the balls


Julie Brown tweeted,

This is better than SNL because it’s so absurd. Next thing you know, Alec Baldwin will be getting a b*** job from Danny Divito playing the My Pillow guy, on SNL. You can’t make this s**t up!”



Secular Talk’s Kyle Kulinski tweeted,

Did the My Pillow guy just declare Trump the Second Coming? Holy s**t!”

 

Trump supporters all over America are ejaculating into their My Pillows after hearing Mike Lindell  praise Trump.”



Mr. Lindell later appeared on Fox Business with Lou Dobbs, where he complained how mean and unfair it was that Jim Acosta and the liberal media were to criticize him when everyone else was praising him as a national hero.

“I heard Jim Acosta attack me too, Lou,” he said,”and he was just ten feet from me in the Rose Garden. I don’t know him from Adam or Steve, but he seems so full of himself. Who does he think he is, Lou, when he criticizes the president?”

“Apparently he thinks he’s a journalist,” Dobbs huffed.

“That’s right, Lou, and he was talking to one of those evil people who also think they’re journalists, while looking at me like I was some new species of insect he had just discovered. At one point he twirled a finger around his ear, mouthing the word wacko, and they both looked over at me and laughed. He later went on CNN with Wolf Blitzer and called it a PR stunt to suck up to the president, and then he said My Pillow was one of the worst products on the market. He said it was so bad it should be used for toilet paper!

“When I heard that, Lou, I can’t tell you how bad it made me feel,” Mr. Lindell said, his eyes filling with tears. “It hurt my feelings, Lou, and I started crying. My Pillow is not toilet paper and I don’t recommend it be used as toilet paper, as it will wind up chaffing delicate little bottoms.

“They said some really mean things about me Lou,” Lindell continued, looking like he was about to cry. “But none of them were meaner than what Jim Acosta said, and I’m going to sue him and his evil network for every penny they have. They’re evil, Lou. Evil, I tell you, and they should be ashamed of themselves for being so mean to me and to president Trump. He doesn’t deserve this kind of ridicule anymore than I do. He’s like the little brother that Jesus Christ never had.”

The Journal reached out to Jim Acosta for comment.

“I’ve always known the guy is a wacko and a fruitcake,” Acosta said via email. “When the president paraded him before the television cameras to let him speak, he demonstrated just how much of a wacko and a fruitcake he is. And the fact that he feels threatened by someone insulting his pillow, and feels compelled to run to Fox News, proves he’s not just a wacko and a fruitcake, but a snowflake. He can cry into his pillow after his ridiculous law suit gets thrown out of court.”

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